A Baby Shower for Daddy, Then Goodbye.

A BABY SHOWER FOR DADDY, THEN GOODBYE (A Legacy Story)

Often ,it is only once in a lifetime that a person hits their personal and professional peak at the same time. But, in this case my husband had. He was in his first teaching position in a small northwestern Kansas community. When he arrived to start the position we were within two months of the birth of our second child. We were new to the community ,yet people were very kind and accommodating.

By the time our third child was born my husband was entrenched in the school traditions and its' activities. He had become a fun loving practical joker and was always involved in his student’s lives. Among his many peers were a group of school staff who had become personal friends and support to our family.Life was good.

One day, when the new baby was only a couple of weeks old, I was invited to secretly come to the school and bring the baby. I was escorted to the balcony of the auditorium and then the bells rang and the students began to pour in. All teachers were with their classes. My husband had no fore knowledge of the plan or the topic of the assembly and stood quietly at the end of a row of his students giving them his famous warning look. They responded with laughs and whispers to each other. At that moment, the principal took the stage and asked my husband to come up.

Completely at a loss my shy guy straightened his frame and went to the stage as requested. Always the well dressed man, he was wearing a shirt and tie which showed his very muscular frame which had not changed since college. He always turned the heads of the women with his slim waist and tight buns. He always denied it, but the women never minded sharing with me how much they enjoyed watching him walk and run. As a coach he believed in staying in shape so that his football players could have a run for their money when they challenged the "old man" in practice. He was all of twenty seven.

He still stirred me just walking into a room, so, as I watched him take the stage I counted my blessings and looked at our beautiful daughter in my arms thinking she had no idea how lucky she was to have such a handsome, loving and proud daddy. I had begun to figure out the purpose of this special program which I now realized included the entire junior high which was attending en masse. Also all of the faculty and staff including auxiliary employees in the janitorial and secretarial areas.

The curtains opened and there was a very "creative" throne which I would learn later had been built by the students. The moderator had him sit on the throne and began a program based on the students own stories, jokes, poems and sayings. They presented him with gifts, each was a joke gift until they got to the baby's gifts. They had all chipped in and bought beautiful quilts, blankets, and outfits for a little girl. I stood in the balcony weeping. How dear this community had become, and how much this man who overcame a challenging childhood, was loved and appreciated. I could only wish those in his home town could see him now. I was so very proud of him.

It was a few months later we began to notice some problems with the baby. She had developmental delays. She did not sit up until almost eleven months old. She was not pulling up to walk like the other children and began to have seizures. The seizures increased until she was having as many as six grand mal seizures on some days. At fifteen months she didn't walk unassisted.

Medications weren't stopping the seizures and consultations with specialists only confirmed what we had already been told by our community physicians. She was so ill and requiring so much medication, she might be retarded by kindergarten. It took watchful care around the clock to tend her and with my husband teaching days and two children to care for, one a toddler, I was exhausted.

The community wanted to help but what could you do. We didn't share the financial devastation we were encountering with seeking a cure for the illness. When we finally found help for her , it meant moving hundreds of miles away from our beloved community and my husband having to ask to be released from his teaching contract mid year. While any sacrifice was worth even the slightest improvement, I feel the greatest sacrifice was made by my husband.

The official goodbye when we left Kansas was one of the most heart wrenching and heart warming, at the same time. The children and I had already settled in with my parents anticipating the move. My parents were going to watch the children while I returned to Kansas to finish packing up the last of our belongings and help my husband drive the rental truck with our furniture. It was a staggering task to do when you are exhausted, but it is unbelievably challenging when you are emotionally drained. I arrived in time for his last day at school.

Once again I was in the balcony when the assembly took place. I watched a man hold himself erect with control and steel resolve, then take his place at the end of the row with his students for the last time. It was a hushed group of students with none of the frivolity and playfulness of my last visit there. I stood in the back of the balcony too emotional to sit. Once again, I found myself weeping.

I listened as one by one the teachers gave my stoic husband a little "roast" , telling stories of his practical jokes, his good humor and his dedication. I watched as the students made their presentations to him and said their tearful last words of goodbye. But, what I was not prepared for, and to this day can still envision and hear in my mind, is when the entire school at the end of the assembly stood . Accompanied by their small instrumental music group they all sang , strong and loud, "Oklahoma". My husband left the platform as the last notes of the song resonated through the halls. I joined him and we left the school together. Incredibly, he didn't break down. I did, enough for the both of us.

This impassioned radical Oklahoma Sooner was overwhelmed, as was I . He did not break emotionally but I have never seen him so moved before or since. We left the school, changed clothes and left his dream job behind. He would never be as happy or as care free in his personal or professional life again, but he would focus on the one thing that has been his priority his whole life. His family.

He would always say it was sad to leave our home and lose that position, but he would never regret it as his daughter became seizure free in her new setting. He always believed it was God's way of moving us on. We would have never been able to choose to leave had it not been for her illness and we believe the move resulted in betterment of our children and opportunities for them. Their lives became full of advantages we could never have provided for them isolated in that little community.

We grew from the love and nurture of friends there; we grew from the love and nurture of the people we met next, and we learned that valuable lesson from the simple saying of "Bloom where you are planted." Few of our legacies have had greater impact.